WA Over 50's - 2013 Match Reports

WA vs WAC - Monday, September 23, 2013

From the moment Bede Rogers aboragated his responsibilities as team manager, and decided to remain in Perth for the first week, things have gone well. 

We played a number of scratch matches, short of players, with interesting umpiring, at inconvenient times, on a hip-shuddering, carpet-rash inducing surface – ideal preparation for a two week tournament. 

Since arriving in Sydney, team bonding has been enhanced by being accommodated in an isolated industrial park, sandwiched between two crematoriums, with not even a corner store within walking distance. Forty minutes warm-ups and tactical meetings have taken place on lengthy bus trips, in bumper-to-bumper traffic, while listening to Bol Jones and Marty Ferrari bicker over which lane the GPS girl actually wanted us to enter when she said “Stay Right”, “Stay Left” or “Get off the Medium Strip”. 

It was therefore not surprising when our opening twenty minute blitz against Country reaped three fine goals. Russell “NB” (“not Bede”) Rieck, as well as remembering the snakes, covered himself in further glory by hammering two winners from inside-right, while Paul “Buttons” Cartwright leapt upon a bobbling ball to tap in from close range. The only lowlights for the half were Craig “Hobbler” Trott’s hamstring twinge after the sun got to him and he undertook a fruitless run from full-back into the attacking “D”; and “Splinter” Bilney’s failure to win a free hit after begin struck in the throat from a Country penetration. 

Due to the 28 degree heat, we “decided” to play at a more controlled pace in the second half and simply moved the ball around until we could find an opportunity to win penalty strokes. The plan work and the “New Delhi Bookmaker””, Brian Saxby, didn’t disappoint from the spot. He deliberately confounded future opponents who were watching in the stands by putting one in and the second wide. 

One final highlight was the “almost” slide by custodian Ferrari. The slide came to a sudden halt when he hit a dry spot. The forward was so befuddled by the manoeuvre he lost control of the ball. 

Result: WA 4 – WAC 0 

Goal scorers: Russell Rieck (2), Brian Saxby, Paul Cartwright 
Man of the Match: Matthew Jones 
Cards: Yellow – 0. Green – 0

WA vs QLD - Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The second instalment in the opening trilogy, we whipped QLD 1 – 0. OK, not quite whipped, but we did hit the post on a stroke, had a goal saved on the line by a defender and troubled their keeper on numerous occasions. Our keeper, on the other hand, only had to watch his fluid intake due to the humidity under his helmet and stay awake for the occasional misplaced back pass. 

One of our 50 year old virgins, Bryan Zekulich, brought memories of former glory days flooding back with some deft touches around the D, and one cracking raised shot that narrowly missed to the left. Another 50 year old virgin, John “Fred” Meacock, also distinguished himself with an over-the-head trap and green card that brought the first unscheduled rotation. 

It was the new Delhi book-keeper, Brian Saxby, who put us ahead. He found himself unmarked and with plenty of time to calmly pick his spot and drive a sweet shot to the backboard. This had resulted from a great pass out of defence by a 3rd virgin, Barry “Rowdy” Holford, and an unselfish cross from Hyphen Ryan-Gadsden. 

We continued to dominate in the second half although the absence from two extra bench players, Bede Rogers and Noel Morrison, once a few niggles began to appear, made life unreasonably difficult for the rest of the team. They will be expected to take on an extra workload when they eventually arrive. 

Result: WA 1 – QLD 0 

Goal scorers: Brian Saxby 
Man of the match: Matthew JOnes 
Cards: Yellow – 0. Green – Matthew Jones, John Meacock

WA vs VIC - Wednesday, September 25, 2013

It was a bit like the steak at the pub in Balmain at 9.30pm: too little, too late. From 3-0 down in the first 10mins, we fought back to 3-2, but couldn’t find the equaliser. Actually, that’s not quite true, because “Buttons” Cartwright suffered 5 hack tackles before putting the ball in the net, only to be advised he had won a short corner, not scored a goal. We were to relive the moment many times during the night. “Buttons” demonstrated his full repertoire of puppetry skills, as he re-enacted the sequence in various styles and from various angles. The residents of the quiet back streets of Balmain are now fully versed in the intricacies of defeating 13 Victorian defenders while having 3 legs amputated by blunt hockey blades. 

Not much should be said about the Vics opening barrage… We scored late in the half when the “New Delhi Bookeeper” dragged the keeper to slot one from a sharp angle, and give us a glimmer of hope.  

Bol Jones, Goz Scicluna and “NB” (Not Bede) Rieck upped their work rate in the second half, wrenching control of the match from the Vics who were starting to tire. Our expanding collection of hamstring strains did not seem to affect us, although it made it harder for Disco to get to the bench so he could complain about not being able to get back on the pitch soon enough. Our rotation system fell in to such disarray that Mark “Angry” Arnold missed out on his nap time completely during the game. Conversely, Zek didn’t even get a toe on the field in spite of some impressive strapping and lots of $s donated to his physio. 

Mike “The Commuter” Hallam and Angry teamed superbly with NB on the right, before Sax converted with a clever fall-away scoop over the keeper’s shoulder. We pressed hard for the final 5 mins but were denied by desperate defence, leaving us to contemplate how soon we could order our steaks and enjoy our 3 day break.  

PS. Bede gave his usual contribution: nothing. At least Noel asked how we were going ! 


Result: WA 2 - VIC 3 

Goal scorers: B. Saxby 2 
Man of the match: Brian Saxby 
Cards: Yellow – 0. Green – 0 

WA vs NSW - Sunday, September 29, 2013

Saturday was very pleasant. We sat in front of the big screen in the light and airy Clovelly pub by the seaside. Most cheered for the Dockers, who seemed to be team of choice for the Sydneysiders too. Amber fluid flowed freely and even Elton Ferrari was seen with a lovely pink strawberry cider. Bede finally attempted something useful for the team by taking himself on the rocks where the king waves almost swept him away. 

Sunday was a slightly different matter. Accounting for the road trip and the professional athlete’s full match-day preparation (including healthy, easy to digest breakfast, shaving down for aerodynamics, and systemaic evacuation of last night’s pizza), we had to be up the night before and depart from our hotel the previous afternoon in order to arrive for an 8.30am start. 

Once at Homebush stadium, we discovered the following: 
• Bede and Noel had played their first match 
• The commuter Hallam had successfully reduced his workload to under 35 mins 
• Apps Arnold had won the Academy award for best recovery after being struck in the throat 
• Hyphen impressed his newly arrived wife with a seagull goal 
• Disco had found three supporters – Diskette, Aunt Diskette and Uncle Disco 
• Elton fell over often enough to keep out most of the NSW shots, except the slow loopy one and the one where Disco got in the way. 

In summary, we lost 1-2 but had the afternoon to send Buttons Carty statue surfing along the northern beaches. 

Result: WA 1 - NSW 2 
Man of the match: Marty Ferrari 
Goal scorers: G. Ryan-Gadsden 
Cards: 

WA vs VIC - Monday, September 30, 2013

Having lost control of the Managers position Bede attempted to usurp the coach’s planning meeting and pre-match speech. Fortunately, the team ignored him.  

From the opening whistle we hit the ball in to the far right corner and locked the Vics in our attacking zone. Disco was all over the Victorian defence like a rash – or was that just the side effects of sleeping with Hyphen before both their wives arrived. Clearly the medication prescribed to Disco by Bede wasn’t working. 

We almost scored several times during the opening flurry. Goz was providing an attacking option at right half, and even Hobbler Trott was seen probing forward. Hobbler’s medical supplements were working or the GPS was mis-firing again.  

Despite our early dominance, it was the Vics who surprised with a well-executed breakaway goal. Bol wasn’t impressed and marshalled the forces from the mid-field – at least until NB Rieck subbed him off.  

It was a great move as NB passed midfield, the ball was bunted to Noel at inside right, and he found Buttons Carty on the baseline who slipped the ball passed the oncoming keeper to give Apps Arnold an easy tap in for his maiden goal for WA. 

We felt we had control for most of the match, but couldn’t find the net again. At one point Buttons arms and stick became a cartoon like blur as he had multiple shots at the prostrate goalie. The old hobbit from the local club, who was working at the ground from sunrise to midnight, said he counted 17 shots in five seconds. Noel also missed out on a stroke when he was shoved in the middle of the back as he was about to trap on the spot. Perhaps the dull gloom emanating from the Cintra floodlights meant that the umpires were struggling to see anything more than a metre in front of them. 

Our defence held firm when tested. Splinter Bilney and Fred Meacock were rock solid, Rowdy Holford was quietly efficient. Sax warmed the ice on the bench, the Commuter didn’t even think it was worth his while getting in to his gear, and Zek was wisely rehabilitated in Byron Bay. 


Result: WA 1 - VIC 1 
Man of the Match: Matthew Jones 
Goal scorers: Mark Arnold 
Cards: 

WA vs NSW - Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Planet Bede is a fascinating place where the illogical becomes logical and the impossible becomes reality. There are lots of happy, shiny distractions but you probably wouldn’t want to live there on a permanent basis. With this in mind, our 50 mins bus trip to Homebush ideally needs to be reduced by about 95%. We also need to ensure our post match dinner and drink excursions go nowhere near Kings Cross. 

The plan for today was to take 14 fit players in to the match and finish with 16 fit players for the semi-final on Friday. The New Delhi Bookmaker and the Commuter were to be given another holiday, aiming to keep them fresh for the finals.  

Fred Meacock even made a special effort to enable this to happen, rescheduling apparently important meetings where the fate of the free world was to be decided, so that he could make it through traffic, Sinatra style, with a police escort and synchronised green lights in the back of a stretch limousine for the start of our game. All credit to his PA, Bea, who has also been organising our evening meals in Sydney’s best pubs. 

Goz, however, failed to correctly translate Bol’s Master Plan in to Latin and made the mistake of acquiring a groin strain. Perhaps he had been spending too much time with the ice addicts in the Joondalup room in the Quest apartments. From this point the rotations didn’t quite happen as regularly as some tired 50 year old bodies would have liked. Splinter, therefore, took matters in to his own hands and knee-capped a NSW runner on a short corner, restoring the status quo of fit and injured players. 

We were the first to score after a brilliant intercept, run and incisive pass by Hobbler Trott. His 50m angled pass found Apps Arnold who slipped the ball in front of a diving Chunky Morrison for a spectacular finish.  

NSW changed their game for the 2nd half and it took us 15mins to adjust. In this time, they won a series of corners and eventually executed a set play the led to an equaliser. 

Chunky, Carty, Hypen and Apps worked back to help clog up the mid-field and we managed to return the game to a conservative pace. Rowdy and Bol gained control of our left while Splinter and Elton’s great calling enabled Disco to fill the gaps at centre half. NB (Not Bede) worked tirelessly in keeping with all of his efforts both on and off the field throughout the tournament.  

It was a hard fought match, the draw leaving us with a must win Semi against the same opponents very early on Friday. 

Result: WA 1 - NSW 1 
Best Player: Colin Tyler 
Goal scorers: Noel Morrison 
Cards: 

Semi-Final WA vs NSW - Friday, October 4, 2013

Once there is a glimmer of sun in the early morning, it takes a 30 minute warm-up and ten minutes of solid game time to flush the nocturnal arthritis from the system. Old knees, hips and spines forget how to bend, swivel and flex overnight, resulting in slow motion sprinting, pedestrian passing and trapping malfunctions. The first team to crunch through the ossification is generally the first to score. Today it was NSW. 

NSW won what appeared to be a straightforward penalty stroke from a corner. However, they were controversially permitted to re-introduce a player who had just served a two minute suspension. Bol was angry, Elton was huffing and puffing indignantly, Splinter was scratching his chin wistfully, and Bede was looking at the way the morning light was making sparkles on the grandstand windows. 

The sparkle approach, surprisingly, was the one that brought results. Minutes later, Bede belly-flopped into a tomahawk position and the ball rocketed into the top corner. Apps Arnold followed with a neat finish after some slick passing, and Chunky Morrison beat the keeper with a dizzy spin and reverse swipe to take us to a three-one half-time lead. 

We continued to dominate post-break, but NSW sneaked one across the face of goals to guide in from the post. Nevertheless, it was all they had left in the tank, and with Hobbler Trott, Goz Scicluna, and Splinter calm and impenetrable, we were able to move the ball freely through Bol and N.B. (Not Bede) Rieck in the midfield, before tapping in two more superbly structured goals prior to a satisfying end. 

Result: WA 5 - NSW 2 

Goal scorers: N. Morrison 2, B. Rogers 1, M. Arnold 1, R. Rieck 1 
Cards: nil.

Final WA vs VIC - Saturday, October 5, 2013

Watching Peter Crowe weave his magic in the Over 55s grand final beforehand was inspirational. It is the icing on the cake to have a striker with skill and class. We have Bede. 

Today was to be a dour, tight affair. Weary bodies were massaged, manipulated, strapped and taped for one last battle. The Vics had been taken to the brink by WA Country in their semi-final, so we were hopeful we were the least damaged of the two contenders. It was also another hot day – a further factor that could have been in our favour. 

Coach Bol Jones and Manager N.B. (Not Bede) Rieck led from the front, finding unexpected reserves of energy in the midfield. Disco stood in the middle, filling space and conning the Vics into going elsewhere. Goz, Buttons Carty and Rowdy Holford maintained width, providing safe conduits from defence into attack. Meanwhile, Fred Meacock, Splinter Bilney and Hobbler Trott formed an intimidating guard of honour around Elton Ferrari, determined to secure him his first masters’ gold after decades of attempts. 

Chunky Morrison and Apps Arnold did the bulk of the running up front, while the casualties who caught the early ambulance bus (Sax, Hyphen and the Commuter Hallam) bravely shared the job of keeping the Vic full-backs distracted. 

The breakthrough came when Buttons Carty slyly concocted a stunning plan. He made a pitiful back pass to tempt the Vics to steal the ball and win a corner. They fell obliviously into the trap. Just as Buttons had envisioned, Splinter cleared the short with a quick smack to N.B. (Not Bede), on the half-line. He made a brilliant trap, before launching the ball down the line to the problem child, Bede. Cometh the moment, cometh the man: Bede also executed a perfect trap, beat his direct opponent, and then resisted the expected shot from the baseline to draw the keeper and release Apps Arnold. With the custodian scrambling to get back to the net, Apps calmly slotted the goal, giving us a match-winning lead. 

We had only one scare – when Splinter tested Elton by deflecting an innocuous cross towards the post. Elton awoke from his lunch-time siesta, stuck out his foot, and waggled his finger at his cheeky defender. 

Victory was sweet. After our initial run of injuries, who would have thought we would have outlasted the other states? Elton finally collected his gold medal, and Sydney turned it on especially for us with a massive fireworks display over the harbour. We had prime position at Club Meacock on the Finger Wharves below the Harbour Bridge. Late night entertainment was supplied by Mrs Carty with her puppetry and comedy routine, ably heckled by Zek, who had fortuitously returned from his rehabilitation programme in time for the celebrations. 

Result: WA 1 – VIC 0 

Goal scorers: M. Arnold 
Cards: nil.