WA Over 65's - 2011 Match Reports

WA vs VIC - Tuesday, September 27, 2011

When you’re a geriatric at pensionable age, it is only reasonable that you have a rest day on the opening Monday of the tournament to recover from the rigours of inter-state travel. So an expedition to the interior is formulated by Ken, the team’s walking encyclopaedia of all that Canberra and the A.C.T. have to offer the wide-eyed tourists.  
From Red Hill we take in the panoramic view of the fruits of Walter Burley Griffin’s vision of our national capital but barely one minute has passed before Thommo has itchy feet and is ready to move on. Kenny, driver of the lead vehicle Kia 1, sets off like Peter Brock on Mount Panorama, heading out to the satellite tracking station at Tidbinbilla leaving in his wake the Soares-driven Kia 2, chauffeuring “Lord” Simon Thomson.  
Like missing a good pass on the hockey field, we defer to Thommo’s desire to press forward to locate a countryside café for his hit of coffee, and are on the road again missing out on the one major tourist feature of the day, a tour of the tracking station itself.  
Whilst travel guide Kenny gives those of us in vehicle one a running commentary on his past work on the engineering and location of the multiple water reservoirs and catchment areas - for which Terrritoreans should be eternally grateful to our Kenny - his pearls of wisdom fail to be transmitted to the air waves of vehicle two. Its occupants, save driver Soares, by now are nodding off to sleep, reminiscent of visions of past MCC members at Lord’s when Geoffrey Boycott has compiled 25 runs by tea. And when three prospective lunch venues on the road are closed because it’s a Monday,” Lord” Thomson has had enough - directing chauffeur Soares accordingly, he pulls stumps and heads for home. And to add insult to injury, Vice-Captain “Thommo” declares himself unfit for Game 1 as we arrive to play on a sunny Tuesday with blue skies.  

From the opening whistle, central striker Kenny is out of the blocks faster than Usain Bolt and makes a darting run down the right centre, feints the lay-off pass to the right and finds himself at the top of the circle. Aiming for the fastest goal from the West within 7 seconds, he fires on goal but without converting.  
But soon Kenny’s at it again with our first short corner as the Vic goalie blocks his shot off the right post where the diving “Lunger” fails to pick up the rebound.  

The Vics dominate the midfield and are two up at the break but individual battles around the ground are none better than between respective captains Victorian Paice, and Col (“the Colonel”) Sanders, with “Paicy” being yellow-carded for his close attentions and benched by the umpires. 
“Rowdy” Roger Jewell is showing great endeavour but round the ground the Vics are playing smarter hockey.  
A late run by birthday boy “Stewie” produces a bouncing shot deflected off two Victorian sticks to confound the goalie and we have one goal back - but it’s all over bar the shouting, and there wasn’t much of that from the West Aussie supporters. 

Result: WA 1 – VIC 2

WA vs QLD - Thursday, September 29, 2011 

When you are invited to write a match report and more than 24 hours has elapsed since you left the hockey field and, by now, your cerebral cortex has been subjected to a steady infusion of shiraz, you have to wonder whether the subsequent press report has any relevance at all to anything that actually happened on the hockey field.  
Nevertheless, as an occasional amateur scribe, it is a sobering thought that those that actually bother to read the report are mostly of similar vintage, with similar serum shiraz levels as well as the ageing brain syndrome.  
So as far as I recall, it’s a cold, damp, rainy cheerless morning as we arrive at the Canberra Hockey stadium for our second game of the tournament.  
Simon “Thommo” remains unfit but, today, we have team manager Brian “Supersub” Soares to take his place off the bench.  
Game 1 had been “testing the waters”, rather akin to Julia calling a by-election as a yardstick to assess how the team is standing compared to the Opposition.  
Coach Hammond Labours the point that Conservative play in the defence portfolio, as well as in the midfield, is the yardstick, with a Liberal selection of penetrating passes which will result in goals and that should also persuade the floating Independent supporters to cast their vote for a Western Australian victory in Game 2.  
As the campaign unfolds, with Kennie Walter as the spearhead and Alan “Stewie” Stewart weaving his magic, the flying Simon “Lunger” Williams with left hand heavily strapped after colliding with the goalie in Game 1, steals the ball after intercepting a cross pass and heads for the circle.  
The Queeensland defender fouls him but the ensuing penalty corner is an absolute stuff-up!!!  
After dominating play from the West Aussies, the Maroons win a lucky short corner of their own and show how to put the ball away past the luckless “Agro” - we’re Green with envy, we’re one down, and the punters are all heading to the polling booths to change their votes.  
Jimmy “Banksy“ Banks is trying to rally us with some skilful plays, with Ham and Chip’s intricate moves set to be a real mouthful for our opponents.  
But against the predicted play, the Queenslanders win another penalty corner scoring a second goal, with a mirror-image play of their first.  
When Pedro uses his weight to excess incurring the umpire’s displeasure and is to be seen sitting on the cross benches after the half-time recess, Les is joined by Ian “Doc” Hill to help shore up the defence portfolio with Mal “Hagar” Horrigan and Roger “Rowdy” Jewel.  
Pedro seeks counsel from Peter “Rumpole” Murray whose presentation for the defence is so long-winded that Pedro is back on the field before it can be presented to hockey’s highest court.  
The final quarter sees the Captain Col (“the Colonel”) Sanders act as Chief Whip to stir his forwards into a level of high intensity.  
With Phil “the Rhino” Metcalf making a charge, Lunger diving this way and that, and Ham cleaning up the Chip with an upper arm strike that was less than Humerus, there is a high level of determination to score, but when it’s not your day, it’s just not your day.  
Stewie was elected W.A. Best Player by the Opposition’s Returning Officer for the second successive game. 

Result: WA 0 - QLD 1

WA vs ACT - Saturday, October 1, 2011 

Friday’s lay day starts with a trip to Canberra Hospital E.D. for an injury assessment of Chip’s left arm.  
We are not quite sure about the story as to how the triage nurse comes to lose her balance and fall over backwards whilst examining Chip but it becomes a close call as to who will need Xraying first.  
The South African doctor advises us that there is probably no fracture on Graham’s Xray films, but concedes that there is a small indentation at the lower end of the humerus which is at worst a little chip – we tell her this is nothing new – Chip’s always been little !!!  
We join the rest of the team who are viewing artistic masterpieces at the Australian National Gallery, including Monet’s Water Lilies and the Haystack, of which there are so many versions in the world’s art-houses that somebody must be making a quid or two flogging them yet again in Sotheby’s or Christie’s. Then there was something called “Poles” that my grandson Oliver’s pre-primary art-class could have produced by tipping different coloured paint pots down the canvas so the paint dripped from top to bottom – and now it is said to be worth $80 million instead of the purchase price of $3 million – what a load of Pollocks.  
We return to base, leaving a player behind, and unfortunately for some it is Peter “Rumpole” Murray, the fines-master.  
Being a pivotal defender for the team, Rumpole is duly collected in preparation for the Saturday game against our hosts A.C.T. , and you can feel the intensity as the boys line up for a must-win game.  

The first quarter sees a bombardment of the A.C.T. goal and we have all the play, going close to scoring several times, but the ball just does not seem to be running for us and it’s still nil all at the first quarter break.  
But even as the game recommences, we’re back on the attack and out of nowhere appears Kenny Walter who delivers a blistering shot at the A.C.T. goal and we’re one ahead.  
You could see the West Aussie spirits lift all round the ground.  
Pedro and Les are repelling any A.C.T. attacks, distributing pin-point passes to the half-backs who are controlling the play – another through ball to Stewie who fires on goal striking the left hand post and there is Simon “Lunger” Williams to sweep the rebound across the line.  

We’re two up at the break and Coach Hammond wants four, so Coach pulls his joker from the pack and Simon “Thommo” Thomson is out on the ground.  
And much in the same vein as the on-arrival shiraz and food order, “Lord” Thomson demands the ball, and continues to demand the ball, calling for passes at every moment so that, within two minutes of being ‘on-ground’, Thommo has received 74 passes and given 75 passes, and is racking up the Stats. 
– P.S. Australian Selectors please note - he is a player to be noticed !!!  
Rhino’s running strong and the attacking pass finds him just out from the spot, where he pivots on a sixpence and backsticks the ball past the despairing goalie.  

Now we’re really pumped up and from the final quarter whistle young Kenny takes off from the centre-spot, passes right to Stewie who finds the running Lunger – in a trice he’s into the circle, heading for the base-line, and sweeps the ball backwards inside towards Stewie. But it’s hit at half-speed, the defender picks it off easily and the moment has passed.  
But the attacks keep coming and from the ensuing short corner, Mal “Hagar” Horrigan makes a clean strike to the right-hand post where that extremely fast forward, the flying Lunger, deflects the ball into the goal for number four.  
Coach Hammond’s mouth is turning up at the corners, but changes to a broad grin from ear to ear as Ham receives a pass across the top of the circle at the next short corner, drags a defender, then fires an Exocet missile which intercepts Lunger’s thighs and rattles into the back of the goal for number five.  

The tide has turned and we jumping on the next wave on Monday.  

Result: WA 5 - ACT 0

WA vs NSW - Monday, October 3, 2011 

Sunday is a day of rest, from hockey too, and while forwards Stewart and Williams are maintaining fitness on the scenic fairways of Royal Canberra Golf Club with views across to the snow-capped Brindabellas, and an audience of kangaroos, travel guide Kenny Walter leads an expedition to Captain’s Flats.  
It is rumoured that there is more interest for some tourists in certain artistic pictures detailing female anatomy than there is in the history of gold-mining in the region.  
We retire prematurely as it’s an earlier awakening for us on Must-Win Monday with a 9.30 a.m. game.  
We wake to the sound of an alarm - the rain has gone, the clouds have gone and there’s bright sunshine and clear blue skies as we head for the Hockey stadium.  
Coach Hammond imparts his pearls of wisdom, and such is the perceived importance of the game that even Pedro is on time to start Lunger’s warm-up and stretches!!! 

We hit the ground running but it is New South who hit the post off the first short corner, just two minutes into the game.  
But three short corners in the first term still leaves them goalless.  
The West Aussies lift as Mal “Hagar” Horrigan hits a penetrating pass towards the baseline just outside the circle to the running Simon “Lunger” Williams whose lay off back to the spot finds an unmarked Alan “ Stewie” Stewart.  
A fine strike by Stewie is blocked by the opposition goalie and it’s still all tied up.  
Captain Col and Les are resolute in defence and with Pedro’s raking long passes to Chip on the left wing we put the opposition under some pressure.  
But the second quarter remains tight with the game oscillating in the midfield and neither side able to dominate as Rhino, Ian and Rowdy rotate off the bench giving us fresh legs.  

At the start of the 3rd, the game is up for grabs - Lunger runs into space, picks up the through ball, leaves the defender for dead, drags the ball left of the spot but, as he dives full length to strike the goal on his backstick, the ball runs away from him and NSW are still alive.  
They rebound to the other end of the ground and force another penalty corner.  
As the ball is poised to be hit out to the top of the circle, there’s a flash of light as a flying defender comes out of the blocks faster than Casey Stoner at the MotoGP on Phillip Island.  
It is Peter “Rumpole” Murray who has exceeded his brief and is sent to the half-way line leaving goalie Graham “Agro’ Sansom with one less defender.  
But it is Agro’s day: we marvel at such deft footwork that is reminiscent of Tim Cahill, as our goalie makes a stunning save.  
Ham, Banksy and Simon T. show some silky stickwork and are laying off the passes as New South keeping denying us that final move into the attacking 22.  
We finally earn a short corner, but the ensuing strike by Mal flies harmlessly past the left post.  
The game is down to the wire and in the final two minutes it is NSW that earns three penalty corners in succession.  
Agro marshalls his defence, they repel the first, they repel the second.  
New South go to the top of the circle for the third.  
The siren goes.  
The crowd are on the edge of their seats.  
Captain Col Whitaker is summoned forward from full-back – he steps up to the plate, he traps the ball, fires the salvo – it’s wide of the mark!!!  
It’s been a pulsating goalless draw and it’s Agro that scoops the Best Player Award, breaking Stewie’s run of accolades in three successive games. 

Result: WA 0 - NSW 0 

Best player: Agro 

WA vs WAC - Wednesday, October 5, 2011 

English is a wonderful language full of eloquent words, many new words, and old words with new meanings, too. The line used to mark the perimeter of a hockey field, now it’s some ethereal, nebulous thing that most of us seem to want to get onto every day. The net forms the back of the goal into which we try to deposit the ball, but now it’s the communication highway. We have memory sticks and thumb drives, and now I have discovered the dongle. I am hopeful that one day someone will enlighten me as to what you do with a dongle. As all good linguists know, each verb in the French language is given either a male or a female gender, and you’d certainly presume a dongle to be male. But I’m told females can have one too. And, apparently, you can borrow one . Also, if your dongle doesn’t work properly you can just buy a new one – the mind boggles !!!. Somebody said that Brian has one, but I thought I might receive some sideways looks if I asked to borrow his !!! Anyway this is the sort of thing that one gets into when writing match reports, as it doesn’t stop when you have completed the report. The next thing is to pass on your humble journalistic offerings to the powers-that-be, in the hope that it will be published, and that there may be even somebody who might read it. So when the hotel internet connection system is worse than useless, you’re down to finding an internet café or using a memory stick to pass on the match reports for publishing ……. unless, of course, you’re a dongler. A win in Game 5 today will see us through to the Semi-Finals. Coach Hammond has us at the ground at 7.07 a.m. which is not good for those of us that don’t do mornings. Vice-Captain Simon “Thommo” Thomson who has stopped whingeing about his knee, is looking sharp from the whistle. His first shot on goal strikes the near-side post, ricocheting away, and Kenny Walter’s early shot is blocked by the goalie while the other forwards are queueing up for the lay-off. The W.A. mid-field of Captain Col Sanders, Mal “Hagar” Horrigan and Peter “Rumpole Murray show complete domination cutting off all passes out of defence and setting up the next attack. A slick pass finds Thommo at the top of the circle, and he hammers home the opening goal, his first of the tournament. Soon we’re back in the circle after some skilful work by Ham coming in from the left. The ball falls to Kenny in heavy congestion in the circle, but somehow the little master weaves his way through the traffic and slots the ball in for goal number two. The intensity drops in the second term, and W.A. Country are feeding off our errors leaving defenders Ian, Pedro and Les with more work, ably assisted by birthday boy “Rowdy” Roger,Jewell and Jimmy Banks. Alan “Stewie” Stewart is weaving his magic around four Country players but not quite eliminating the fifth. But his next attack down the right sees him make a perfectly weighted through ball to a great lead by Phil “Rhino” Metcalf who carries the ball to the spot but is unable to finish on the back-stick. Agro in goal is calling the lines and we turn two in front at the half-time break. We’re into the third, which sees Simon “ Lunger” Williams leading well, picking up some through balls but the Country goalie twice foils his scoring attempts. At three-quarter time, we’re still only the two in front as Coach Hammond gives us a serve with an impassioned speech pleading for more intensity and two more goals. It’s like a switch has been flicked as we start throwing the ball around, and we’re flying forward to attack the circle where Chip’s shot strikes a defender’s foot preventing a certain goal. The umpire blows for a penalty stroke and Kenny, quick to improve his goal-scoring stats, heads for the spot and calmly slots the goal. Agro and the boys are keeping the score-sheet clean at the back – we break clear and move the ball around – and there is Ham with a great through ball to the running “Lunger” coming in to the top of the circle, he flicks right, into the path of “Thommo” who shapes to shoot but sublimely lays it outside the far post where the well-positioned Rhino scores the fourth. We’re in the four, and it’s anybody’s game in the Semi-Finals. 

Semi-Final WA vs VIC - Friday, October 7, 2011 

It’s Semi-Final Friday and we’ve arrived – we’ve risen from the dead.  
From trailing in last place after two games, we’re up to 3rd position, and play second-placed Victoria.  
Finishing higher on the ladder, the Vics only need a draw to make the Final.  
Apart from Rowdy with knee problems we have a full complement of players to rotate off the bench.  
The boys are fired up from the start, Kenny’s off from the middle and we’re running at the Vics with attacks down the right.  
Chip “The Ferret” Challenor is running all over Victorian Paicey and closing down their outlet from defence.  
We come back down the right.  
Peter “Rumpole” Murray makes the perfectly weighted through ball to Lunger who penetrates the circle.  
Chip appears out of left field, he picks up the precision pass, steadies, then fires the shot inside the left post for the opening goal and we go one goal up at the break which is still the score at half-time.  

We lose some control at the start of the 3rd quarter, and as we make a poor hit out of defence which is turned over, the Vics work back from their attacking right, into the circle and score a very lucky goal..  
Simon “Thommo”, Rhino and Jimmy are all trying to lift the tempo, and as Les pressures Paicy into an error he is carded for two minutes.  
The defence is bolstered by Ian “Doc” Hill but Stewie also joins the “GreenCard” club after being benched by the umpire for a misdemeanour.  
Agro is in control at the back and Pedro is delivering the ball thoughtfully.  
While Stewie does time in the ‘naughty chair’, Victorian Ian Waite suddenly stops in his tracks thinking he has been struck on the back of the calf, but it’s another achilles gone.  
Ham De Souza is meanwhile making some darting runs and is all over the Victorian defence.  
We force a penalty corner, Kenny lifts his stick and like a good golfer poises at the top of the backswing.  
Victorian defender Bruce Jacobs is out of the blocks a fraction early, and is banished to the half-way line – one defender eliminated.  
Kenny goes again, the ball seems to take forever to reach the top of the circle.  
Mal traps, lays it left to Stewie who strikes cleanly, and the ball flies into the goal deflected off a defender’s foot – we’re back in front, and there’s a quarter to go.  

There’s a fierce determination from the West Aussie team right around the ground, we’re running them off their feet, their losing their structure and trying to hit long balls and turning it over.  
Time is running short as the scoreline remains at 2 – 1 to W.A. and we’re trying to keep the Vics in their half and preserve our lead.  
We’re pressing forward and win a long corner near the attacking baseline on the right with 2 mins 56 secs still left on the clock.  
Simon “Lunger” Williams ambles off with the ball at snail’s pace with the ball on the end of his stick and fiddles around waiting for a Victorian defender to approach.  
Amazingly they are sucked in and watch expecting him to take off towards the circle as they have eliminated the other options.  
He continues to fiddle around with the ball, hardly moving, and 30 seconds have gone.  
Victorian defender Mal approaches, stick flat on the ground hoping to force the error but only concedes another long corner.  
Lunger ambles to collect the ball and the clock continues to run.  
He starts fiddle-faddling around doing nothing.  
Mal blocks the ball and concedes another corner.  
Lunger, eyes on the clock which is inside the last minute, starts again, same deal, same result, except Mal concedes a sideline ball to W.A.  
Lunger keeps his cool, same “non-play”, another long corner. 
As Lunger starts again for the fifth time, the final seconds vanish, the siren sounds and we’re in the final.  

Result: WA 2 - VIC 1

Final WA vs QLD - Saturday, October 8, 2011 

It’s Finals day at Canberra Hockey Stadium and we are one of seven West Aussie teams competing in the nine finals.  
We’re up against an unbeaten Queensland team and it’ll be like climbing the mountain.  
The Coach, who has acquired new training equipment, is “whipping” us into action - he’ll be now known as the Chief Whip.  

The Maroons have the first hit-off but turn the ball over under opposition pressure.  
It’s W.A. with the early attack but the Queensland defence is tight and we are unable to penetrate into the circle.  
The game is fought in the mid-field with our opponents controlling the ball better, and forcing W.A. into too many turnovers.  
Such is the intensity from both sides that the scoreline remains at nil all after the first quarter and at the half-time break.  

We attack at the start of the third quarter only to see another turnover and Queensland transfer the ball quickly out of defence into attack, into the circle, the ball runs loose, and there is the goal to the Maroons.  
The third quarter is much the same as the first and second, except that we are goal behind.  
We throw everything at them in the last term, win a couple of short corners but their Olympic goalie is too good for us.  
The clock runs down, the Queenslanders hold firm, time’s out.  
We finish second, with a silver medal for our efforts. 

Result: WA 0 - QLD 1